I have turned the camera on myself as subject, from the earliest days of my picture making. In the beginning, I believed it was about my embarrassment to ask others to pose for me (which has much truth in that explanation), however, looking back, I always had a desire and need to express aspects of myself. I was always looking to give voice to myself, even where I was silent subject of an image. I think I’ve always felt a conflict about what I’m trying to say to myself about me, and what I feel comfortable saying to others. So, these works have been self exploration as much as self narrative. At the same time, I’ve yearned to be seen, as if that replaces the need to give myself voice.

This work is made from a 4×5 Type 55 Polaroid negative from about 1990 or so.  This type of film choice would have been used simply to test camera exposure on a studio view camera, before the actual exposure was captured on conventional film. I found this negative stuck to a bunch of old prints, and it shows a lot of damage from improper storage. But to my artist’s eye, this affect on the negative, produces a unique and interesting image that resonates with me today. I haven’t been able to locate any of the conventional negatives from this series, just a few Type 55 Polaroid negatives remain.

When I made this negative originally, I was heavily influenced by Joyce Tenneson’s work, and I made a large number of self portraits in the studio with her work in mind.

The resulting print from a damaged negative displays the “me” of today, as well as the “me” of 30 years ago.

This will be available in four sizes, printed s a museum quality digital print on acid free matte paper.

This image is in the shop!https://tcwaters.com/product/1571/